Post-storm, gently falling rain, and warm temperature on this late December day make for a wildlife backyard party! As I sit here, under the gazebo at my daughter’s home, I hear the soft tinkling sound of her wind chimes. My mind drifts back to a day in late December of 1997.
That day I was in the most horrific storm of my life – not from the weather but from pain, grief, despair, and feeling totally abandoned by the God I had faithfully served since I was seven years old.
It was a remarkably similar day weather-wise, but my state of mind and broken Spirit were causing me to weep bitter, hot, agonizing tears that come from deep in my gut. It was only days after we had laid the earth bodies of my two children in the cold earth of Crestview Cemetery. My heart was physically breaking in two, and I wanted to leave this earth also. I was screaming out to God and asking why we had been plunged into this Hell of a storm, the worst place any parent could ever have to endure!
As I sat in my gazebo, swinging, screaming, and groaning with loud wailing, suddenly, my wind chimes began a thunderous explosion of music. The sound caught me by surprise, and I stopped still and silent, just listening to that cacophony of music they were singing out to me.
In my Spirit, I heard God saying that He still loved me just as He always has and that He would never abandon me. No, it was not an audible voice but the Holy Spirit wind of God speaking through those wind chimes.
I could not visually see the force that was causing the tubes of the chimes to bang violently against the striker, but it was there making its presence known in a most unmistakable way.
John 3: 8 says;
“The wind blows where it pleases. You hear its sound, but you cannot tell where it comes from or where it is going. So it is with everyone born of the Spirit.”
I asked Him to tell my children how much I love them, and the reply I received was that every time I hear the wind chimes speak, just remember to ask me to do that for you, and I will.
Today, on this beautiful day and decades later, I am asking God to go once again tell my children how deeply I love them, and He says yes, I will do that for you, my daughter. Now you go tell everyone who will hear you how immeasurably I love them and desire for them to be right here where your children are now – in My Hands!
Believe this:
[God] won’t let you stumble,
your Guardian God won’t fall asleep.Not on your life! Israel’s
Guardian will never doze or sleep.God’s your Guardian,
right at your side to protect you —Shielding you from sunstroke, sheltering you from moonstroke.
God guards you from every evil, He guards your very life.
He guards you when you leave and when you return, He guards you now, He guards you always.
– Psalm 121:3–8 The Message
And yet, at every Christmastime, I find myself entering a “pity party” mindset that is all my own. I will be rejoicing and singing praises, and the next moment, weeping with heartache for the children I miss so deeply. Here I sit today, hearing the soft singing of wind chimes, and I remember how at times God will speak in big ways with an undeniable experience of His Presence, and sometimes it will be in a still, small voice, but the message is the same, and the words go something like this:
“Trust Me and lean on Me, for I am your Comforter. I am where you find joy after the storm.”
My Prayer:
“Dear Jesus, I thank you for always meeting my needs whether I am imploding with heartache, pain, anxiety, and grief or I am loudly singing a song of praise. Thank you for the power of the Holy Spirit given to me back when I was seven and still ministers sixty years later. Your love is wrapping me in a cocoon of grace that lets me know You will never leave me or forsake me! I love you, Lord.”
In Jesus’ Name,
Amen.
Rebekah Marsh
Lean into Jesus Ministries
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