Praying for Your Adult Children

I am hoping someone needs this blog as much as I needed it one time, and also a friend of mine. I will tell the story of my friend since I can keep her name anonymous. We raise our children in church, nurture them, guide them through school, and send them off into the adult world. We feel our job is done and feel we did a pretty good job. But then it hits.

Joan (not her real name) raised a kind and loving son. He was raised in a Christian home, went away to college, and returned home for a short while after college to save up money. When the time came, he found an apartment, found a job, and moved out. Joan thought she was finished with her duties as a mom and could move into the friend stage.

Then it happened. She found out her son was hanging around some questionable friends and even dabbling in drugs. He was going from woman to woman, having inappropriate relationships, going out to bars all hours of the night, missing work, and generally going downhill fast. Then, the worst, he told his mom he no longer believed in God and no longer wanted to go to church. She was heartbroken; she cried and fell to her knees in anguish.

Years passed, and she made no headway with her son. She cried, she begged, she condemned, she hollered, and tried to make her son “come back to his senses” to no avail. She was at her wit’s end. Her son was spiraling downhill. She decided to get counseling to learn how to cope with this devastation in her life.

After listening to Joan for many sessions, Joan finally asked the counselor what she needed to do to straighten out her son. To Joan’s surprise, the counselor said, “Simply love him.”

Joan could not accept that and needed to know what action or exorcism she needed to perform. Again, the counselor said, “Love him.”

After many more sessions, Joan was exhausted and finally conceded and decided to back off and simply show love to her son. No more talking to him about his scary lifestyle, no more pressure, no more condemnation. She simply loved him. She started taking him small gift cards with notes attached, simply saying she loved him. She would do his laundry or clean out his refrigerator and then leave notes saying she loved him. Again, no condemnation. You see, the counselor knew that acts of love and kindness would finally win out with her son. Of course, Joan prayed for her son, but most importantly, she was showing the love of Christ to her son, and that made all the difference in the world.

Now, Joan’s son is doing well, married, and excelling in his job. He is also attending church again. This whole process took three and a half long agonizing years, but it was worth it. It is never too late to show God’s love and guide your children back to God!

When our adult children mess up, we need to be their soft place to land when they finally come back to their families and come back to the Lord. It worked for Joan and worked for me!

How to Win the Heart of a Wayward Adult Child:
1. Pray fervently
2. Love first, admonish last
3. Meet them where they are
4. Offer compassion and understanding
5. Keep praying scriptures over your adult child

Jeri Lynn Daniel
Lean into Jesus Ministries
#jerilynndanielblogs

“Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord….” Psalm 127:3-5