It is 2:00 AM, and the house is quiet; everyone is asleep except me. This has been an ongoing theme for the last six months. I was running on three to four hours of sleep each night. I was mentally and physically exhausted and ready to drop.

I have been coming out of a rough two years, and my mind races at night and replays every detail of it. What could I have done differently, where did I mess it all up, and how in the world did it go so wrong? I cried for hours until it was time to get up. I replay the same scene repeatedly.

One night I am at our lady’s book club, and we were discussing letting go and releasing it all to HIM, and like something like a streak of lightning it hit me; I never really relied on HIM about this issue. Yes, I prayed and talked to HIM about it but never gave it to HIM and trusted HE is working it out for good.

Romans 8:28 “And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose.”

However, for some reason, I still didn’t want to release it. In my stubbornness, I really figured I could fix everything with worrying over something that was already done. In my heart, I knew the right decision was made but, yet my heart was still destroyed by it all. Isn’t horrible when you make a decision that feels like you had quit? I know in the end, it’s not really quitting but saving something/someone else. Pain doesn’t just show up in our lives for no reason. It’s a sign that something needs to change. And yes, it needed to change for everyone involved.

My family went on a cruise, and I had a few minutes by myself. As I sat outside watching the ocean disappear into the blue sky, all was quiet. Deep in my soul, I quietly heard, “please let this go and give it to Him, He will heal you from all your worries.” I opened my heart to speak with HIM about all the mental pain I was in: how had we come so far and then have our world crash?  We are learning to pick up the pieces. I asked HIM to let the pain end or at least ease. I told HIM, “I don’t understand your way, but I trust YOU, and I will lay this down.”

Proverbs 3:5 “Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding.”

That night was the first night in over six months that I slept more than six hours and felt refreshed. I am not saying I still do not worry about the issue and that it has worked it itself out to my advantage. Absolutely not. But I do know it will in HIS time. And I am thankful HE is the author of my life.

Are you holding onto something that may be causing you not to rest? I implore you to go to HIM and let HIM take your troubles and lay them at HIS feet.

Father, I come to you to cover anyone who may read this in prayer; I pray they know You and Your love for them. And that You are also the author of their life, and all will work to Your good. I pray they release all issues to You and do not wait as I did. I pray they can rest in You. I pray all this in Jesus’  name.
Amen

Missy Burks
Lean into Jesus Ministries
#missyburksblogs