I have often said that my story is not one about forgiveness– my story IS forgiveness.
Why do we forgive? When is it time to forgive? How often do we forgive? The conclusion I have come to with these questions is this:
1. Because I have been forgiven.
2. It’s always a good time and
3. As often as needed.
My life is not much different from countless women I have spoken to or read about. I’ve certainly made my fair share of mistakes. I’ve loved and I’ve lost. I have been hurt and I have hurt others. I’ve also lived through abuse and great disappointment. Through all of this, the Lord leads me back to one thing…
“Forgiveness”
It wasn’t until I was in my late 30’s though when a very dear friend and mentor introduced me to the true meaning of forgiveness and asked me some very difficult questions. One being, “Lynn, have you really forgiven?” Of course, I replied. Yeah, right! Boy, was I in for a shock.
She explained that forgiving the people that had hurt me so deeply wasn’t actually excusing the act, but rather it was allowing me to let go of hurt, bitterness, and intense anger which were all holding me back from living the life God intended. When I started on this journey I began to experience freedom like I had never known. I released myself from years of resentment toward people who, If I’m totally honest, probably never gave me a second thought. I thought if I forgave then it would mean “they” were getting away with what they had done and I just didn’t think they deserved that…But God!
This isn’t what forgiveness is about at all.
Colossians 3:13 says, “Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.“
Think about this passage for a moment. I’ve actually lost track of the times I have cried out to God to ask for His forgiveness, and time after time I have received it.
When Jesus, the Son of Man, was hanging on the cross in agony He not only forgave those who tortured and crucified Him but He even asked His Father to forgive them as they knew not what they were doing.
For those of us who claim Jesus Christ as our Lord and Savior, it’s not only an act of grace and kindness, it’s a commandment.
When we forgive it’s actually us who is set free. The bitterness that was once in our heart vanishes, the hatred fades and the frustration becomes a distant memory.
Forgiveness is a journey.
Forgiveness is a journey that must start with the desire to forgive the person that did us wrong. I find myself continually asking God to help me forgive, asking for deliverance from the anger, frustration, and victim mentality. I once heard someone say “It’s really hard to be mad at someone while you are praying for them.” Man is that ever true.
You know what else is true? I had to stop talking about the offense to others. When we do this we create more victims. We are affirmed in our negativity and stir the hate for the ones who hurt us. This is such a clever trap from the enemy and if we aren’t careful we will fall right into it. It doesn’t mean we don’t seek help to process the emotions. It does mean that at some point we need to evaluate our motives behind the constant sharing. If you aren’t sure when that time has come, ask God to show you. I promise He will let you know.
God created us all with very unique gifts designed to be used for a very specific purpose; One that will not only change our lives but all the lives around us.
Why would we live in a state of perpetual offense when we could be living in freedom? This is a weight I no longer wish to carry.
We forgive because by God’s grace we are forgiven and Jesus set the most awesome example of love and forgiveness. I am so grateful to serve a God who forgives, who cares about the things I care about, and for friends who hold me accountable.
Offering grace and forgiveness each time there is an offense only draws me closer in my relationship with my Heavenly Father, and the deeper I’m connected with Him, the more freely the forgiveness seems to flow.
Lynn Fulwider
Lean Into Jesus Ministries
#lynnfulwiderblogs
