It is early morning; the sun is shining all is quiet except for that blasted rooster who awakes me every morning. It is summer in Alabama, so you know it is humid. A beautiful morning.
I am feeding the animals, and Violet the Pig is already in her mud bath, trying her best to keep cool. I stop to watch her play. She is a funny one, I’m smiling, and then the smile turns to tears. I am crying like a baby, so much so it is hard for me to catch my breath—literally on my knees.
We are in a hard season. You know the kind of season where you feel like it will break you and will never recover?
The devil is hard at work all around and feels like he has surrounded my family and close friends, and we all under attack at the same time. In my personal life, he knows where to take his blows. And I keep dodging and weaving. Feeling like Wonder Woman with her bracelets, and just when you think you know all his tricks, here he comes with new ones that you never dealt with before, but somehow, he knew it would work. In the last few months, we have found ourselves surrounded by it all.
It has changed me. Right before my eyes, I have seen myself say and do things I would never have said or done before. I can try and excuse it as stress, pressure, and even side effects from a new medication, as they do include depression, hormonal changes, and blood pressure, among others. But guess who still must be accountable for her own actions? Me.
I finally noticed the changes after an incident where I said things I didn’t mean and hurt someone I wouldn’t have ever thought of hurting. Instantly I knew. But the damage was done.
The devil is attacking, and he is good at his job. I must be better, and the only way for me to be better is to surrender all to Jesus. Have you ever noticed that sometimes when you are in that season, we seem to still look at other ways to fight your way thru it? Nope, just me?
Romans 12:2
“Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.”
Jesus is my safe place; He is my trusted friend, my lifeline, and yet I still thought I could fix things on my own. Now I tell you, I still talked, begged, and pleaded for Him to change the situations. But did I wait? Of course not; I thought Missy could fix this. Cause I’m a fixer, like most women, we just do it. In reality, only HE can.
John 5:19
“So Jesus said to them, “Truly, truly, I say to you, the Son can do nothing of his own accord, but only what he sees the Father doing. For whatever the Father does, that the Son does likewise.”
I am back to normal, well as normal as I can be. Learning from the mistakes, I made during this season and off the medication as well.
The biggest change is I have surrendered and given it all to Him.
Don’t get me wrong, we are still walking thru this season, but of course, the load is not sitting all on us, and I don’t feel as it is sitting directly on my chest, and I can finally breathe freely.
Galatians 2:20
“I have been crucified with Christ. It is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me. And the life I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me.”
Violet squeals as the goats are trying to play with her now, and I am back to smiling. I give thanks to Him for allowing me this joy first thing in the morning and that I recognize it as a gift.
Are you going thru or heading into a tough season? Caution, do not try and handle it on your own. This is just a season, and this season will pass.
Above all, Start with Jesus and always end with Jesus.
Missy Burks
Lean into Jesus Ministries
#missyburksblogs