Scrolling thru Facebook one night, and I had a friend suggestion of someone I don’t allow myself to think about. This person was like a tornado, and I was the ruins left behind. Taking a deep breath, I sat there, expecting the pain; instead, I felt free. Exhale. Before Christ, this would have sent me into a whirlwind of pain.
Let me take you back to a time after I first received Christ; I was rolling along living my new life reading/studying my Bible, playing catch up as this had not happened for me until I was 25. I was spending more time asking HIM why all my past pain inflicted on me had been allowed. Why was I doing all of this if it is not helping me? I did mention I was new at this, right? Finally, I reached out to a seasoned sister, and she referred me 2 Corinthians 2:5:
“If anyone has caused grief, he has not so much grieved me as he has grieved all of you to some extent—not to put it too severely.6 The punishment inflicted on him by the majority is sufficient. 7 Now instead, you ought to forgive and comfort him, so that he will not be overwhelmed by excessive sorrow.”
OUCH! I questioned God. “Am I supposed to forgive and comfort? And tell me why I should care how they feel?” Yes, I really did question Him. I asked daily and sometimes not so nicely, ok if I’m honest, I yelled at Him at times.
“You want me to do what? Were YOU not paying attention to all that has happened? WELL??”
I waited for a response, but there was just silence -or what I thought was silence. Now, I was even more frustrated. I was reverting back to believing the lie: HE was not for me and, most importantly, He didn’t love or want me. However, my stubbornness paid off. One morning while reading my Bible, I opened to Luke and came to Luke 7:48:
“Then Jesus said to her, “Your sins are forgiven.” (NIV)
BAM! Just who did I think I was to withhold forgiveness when I have been forgiven for all I have done without question? Tears flowed, I sat there for the longest time in strange peace and comfort.
Now, the real painful work began. I wrote down each past hurt or offender that I was unwilling to forgive on Post-it notes. I prayed over each grievance or person; some were prayed over multiple times. One was prayed for over 200 days before I felt a release! Another, over a year. And the Facebook person -over eight years!
I didn’t want to let it go. Granting forgiveness, I had believed, was letting them off the hook. As only He can, Jesus kept working on me. Finally, sweet relief.
It was a very long and painful process. Please believe me when I say I have forgiven. Unfortunately, it will only be forgotten when I go to my eternal home. Of course, I never would have wanted this offense to happen to me or anyone; however, this life-changing event led me to Christ. Weird as it sounds, I am grateful now. I do not understand His ways; I only know I trust HIM.
Forgiveness. It was never about the person. It was about liberating me, the prisoner of the pain and anger. I had to release my grasp, forgive, and let God have it. No longer does it control my every thought, nor my future. I had no idea what true freedom was until I began my journey of forgiveness with Jesus.
JESUS is life and freedom.
When I logged off Facebook that night, I praised and thanked HIM. He alone made it possible for me to forgive and accept this freedom.
Today, I forgive and bestow grace more freely as I know that Jesus laid down his life to do this for me. Sister, HE can and will do this for you.
Are you withholding forgiveness? Are you afraid if you forgive, it demonstrates weakness on your part? Trust me; it is the opposite. It’s the strength and faith in Jesus that allows us to let go, seek in your heart to forgive, and allow the freedom to take hold. I pray that you allow Him to restore and release you from this. He will grant you the peace and freedom that you deserve as only HE can. HE has been waiting for you to accept.
“It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery.” Galatians 5:1 NIV
Missy Burks
Lean into Jesus Ministries
#missyburksblogs