Imagine for a moment, that you are a widow. You think you’ve made it through the big holiday rush of Thanksgiving and Christmas without having a meltdown for the first time since your husband’s death. You’re feeling pretty good about being strong emotionally and mentally. It’s almost the New Year, and you decide to run into a few stores to get some Christmas items that are marked down to mere pennies so that you don’t have to pay full price next year. Feeling proud of yourself for coming up with such an awesome idea (and that Christmas money burning a hole in your pocket), you march in to the closest dollar store and rummage through the clearance table. You see an employee unpacking a recent shipment and stocking some of the shelves that are bare from Christmas, but you ignore it. The valentine candy he’s putting out is not what you are interested in. The thought of retailers already cashing in on the next holiday makes you laugh to yourself, even though you feel that prick in your heart about what’s missing for you. Off to the register you go to claim your prize for seventy-five percent off, and you rush out to the next store.

You go to store after store, seeing what treasures you can find that have been overlooked. At each store, you see heart-shaped boxes filled with candy being set out on store shelves, as if they are trophies to be handed out to the couples who love each other the most. To keep focused on your shopping high, you say to yourself, “Well, if we didn’t get diabetes from indulging in sweet tea and grandma’s pecan pie from Thanksgiving to Christmas, we’ll have our chance now since there’s almost two months to gorge ourselves with all the chocolate in these heart-shaped trophies!” It may sound funny, but the cynicism is bubbling over at this point. A widow can find strange ways to attempt to keep emotional pain and grief out of her mind and heart, as if there’s some kind of way to avoid it all.

This was me a year ago, right after the Christmas of 2015. I was mad at all of the commercialism, but I was really trying to cover up the fact that my husband was not here with me to celebrate another Valentine’s Day. Widowhood was not something I expected at 31 years old. I wanted lots of kids and grandkids, and a husband to grow old with. Instead, in this moment last year, I was griping about commercialization to try to cover up my heartache, while overlooking the two box of Russell Stover’s Dark Chocolate Pecan Delights that slipped off the shelves into my shopping cart.

As I’ve turned to Jesus for comfort, healing, and just to make sense of things, the anger and bitterness and fear has slowly fallen away. I have had to soak my mind in the scriptures and allow God to speak to my heart through His word. One scripture that I have come across in recent months is Ephesians 2:9-11:

God has told us his secret reason for sending Christ, a plan he decided on in mercy long ago; and this was his purpose: that when the time is ripe he will gather us all together from wherever we are – in heaven or on earth – to be with him in Christ forever. Moreover, because of what Christ has done we have become gifts to God that he delights in, for as part of God’s sovereign plan we were chosen from the beginning to be his, and all things happen just as he decided long ago.

The first point that pops out at me is this – Christ will gather us all together one day to be with Him forever. There will be no more pain, suffering, heartbreak, or grief. The God who created me and you out of love, who made me and you to love the world around us, will come to us and we get to be with Him forever!!

The second point is this – I am a gift to God because of the sacrifice of Jesus Christ. I AM A GIFT TO GOD. YOU ARE A GIFT TO GOD. I didn’t know God needed gifts…..He’s God, what do I have to give Him? He created us to know Him personally. Our relationship with Him is unique and special, and each single person is a gift.

And lastly, the third point is my most favorite! God delights in me and you!! He not only created me and you, but he takes great pleasure and satisfaction in us. You only take great pleasure and satisfaction in a person that you care intensely for and love passionately. It’s this scripture that sheds some light on the depth of God’s love. His love is so magnificent that I can’t even comprehend how much He loves me and His thoughts of delight for me.

I don’t prefer to be single on Valentine’s Day. However, I know that I have the greatest gift: God’s deep, intense, passionate, magnificent love for me. He planned out my life before He created me, He knit me together in my mother’s womb, He died for me, and He did all of this because He loves me. And He did all of this because HE LOVES YOU! That is something that commercialism can’t sidetrack, sad reminders can’t overshadow, and death can’t snuff out.

Dietrich Schaefer
Guest blogger for:
Lean into Jesus Ministries

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