Oh, My Words

I exhale softly as the familiar rhythm of the porch swing lulls me to sweet relaxation.  My puppy, full of energy and curiosity, is happily exploring the front yard.  A gentle breeze stirs distant memories as I listen to the hum of the tractor and the noisy work of my husband cutting underbrush with a bush-hog near our home.

About fifty years earlier, it was a similar steamy, late summer day in rural Alabama.  My parents and older brother were minding the small community store while my two younger brothers and I were hanging out at home.  A neighbor, Mr. C, had been hired to take care of bush hogging one of our fields.  All was well in my little world.

The neighbor’s name was Tom.  He was a kind, older gentleman and a long-time family friend.  Coincidently, one of my barn cats had the same name.  Yes, I know.  Not the most creative or original name for a male cat, but unfortunately for me, that was his name.

For all you non-farm folks, bush-hogging a field will almost always cause field mice to run for the hills.  There isn’t much a cat enjoys more than stalking and catching a nice afternoon snack.  A fresh-cut field is like a Sunday buffet!  Mr. C, my cat “Tom,” and unnumbered field mice were all busy working the pasture near my childhood home.  Who knew how my wonderful summer afternoon would soon drastically change?

Not THAT Tom.

Me, on a frantic phone call to the store, “Mom!  Tom’s cut his leg off!”

Mom,  “What?  What did you say?”

Me, crying: “Tom’s leg is cut off!  It’s awful!”

Mom,  “Dad will be right there!”

The gravel popped and cracked noisily as the pickup truck shot up the driveway less than five minutes later.  My Dad jumped out of the truck and met me on the porch.  His voice was tense.

“Where’s Tom?”

“He ran under the porch,” I shared tearfully.

“He did what?”

An uncomfortable silence hung heavy in the sticky summer air, broken only by the hum of the tractor engine and equipment as Mr. C made his way around another loop in the field.  Can you imagine the look on my Dad’s face?

What we have here is a failure to communicate.

Communication is the successful transmission of thoughts and information, accurately sent and received.  I spoke words.  My Mom heard words.  But unfortunately for all, the message missed the mark.

In my defense, I was twelve years old and the “Ellie Mae Clampett” of the Brown family.  My pets were near and dear to me.  Additionally, I would have never been so disrespectful to refer to Mr. C by his first name. (Just sayin’.)  Thankfully Mr. C was healthy and whole, and neither of my parents suffered a heart attack due to my poorly worded message.  It was an unfortunate accident.  Rest in peace, Tomcat.

More than words.

Today, one of the most challenging forms of communication is texting.  When communicating via text message, we make the note short and sweet.  Tone, voice modulation, pitch, volume, and speed are all lost.  Additionally, text messages lack the benefit of non-verbal communication, such as body language, facial expressions, eye contact, and body posture. Choosing words wisely and considering the way they may be received is often lost.

The way we communicate affects our witness for Christ.

Clearing up miscommunications is often relatively straightforward as long as everyone knows there is a problem. Thankfully, Dad quickly determined that the injured “Tom” was the cat rather than the man.  Dad was both relieved and a little bit peeved, but the miscommunication resolved quickly.

Some communication failures result in damaged relationships and years of hurt feelings.  I have more than my share of regrets when it comes to “word” blunders.  Part of living for Christ is recognizing our weaknesses and asking God to help us improve.

“Set a guard over my mouth, LORD; keep watch over the door of my lips.”  Psalm 141:3

A few scriptures that help guide our words include:

“Gracious words are like a honeycomb, sweetness to the soul and health to the body.” Proverbs 16:24

“The heart of the righteous weighs its answers…” Proverbs 15:28a

“Let your conversation be always full of grace, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how to answer everyone.”  Colossians 4:6