When you hear the word “marriage,” what images come to mind? Do you think about the beautiful flowers, the sweet little flower girl, the handsome groom, or the breathtaking bride? Everyone is so excited and can’t wait for the couple to start their wonderful journey as a new family. The anticipation of a perfect life is in the minds of the couple. But then life begins… Life is full of challenges. Finances, children, sickness, jobs, and so many other things challenge married couples.
Years ago, my husband became very depressed. This became a major challenge for both of us. I began to want to get out of the marriage. The one that was supposed to be my “Happy Ever After.” I talked about it to my friends. The divorce word came out of my mouth over and over again. I entertained in my mind being divorced. It was all that I thought about. I even prayed to God to let me walk away from it.
I justified these thoughts because I was not happy, and I did not like what was going on in my husband. It did not matter that I had two children at home. It did not matter that we were Christians and served God daily. Nothing mattered because all I was thinking about was myself. I did not love my husband anymore. I was not happy.
There are situations involving abuse, infidelity, or other issues that can necessitate separation or divorce, but this was not the case for me. One Sunday after church, I told my sister-in-law that I had made up my mind and I was going to walk away from my marriage. As I was driving away from her home, I heard this in my spirit “Divorce is not in your vocabulary.” I shook my head to ignore the words, but again I heard, “Divorce is not in your vocabulary.” I had been serving God for a long time, and I knew His voice. I begin to cry and ask the Lord to forgive me. I also asked Him to put a love in my heart for my husband again. He did more than I could have ever asked for. God restored my love for my husband, and we celebrated 40 years of marriage before he moved to heaven six years ago.
Today, I see so many marriages in trouble. No one wants to work through the hard times. It is easier to walk away. Marriage is work. Marriage is commitment. Marriage is more than love. Marriage is respect. God’s Word reads in Numbers 30:2 (ESV):
“If a man vows a vow to the Lord, or swears an oath to bind himself by a pledge, he shall not break his word. He shall do according to all that proceeds out of his mouth.”
When we marry someone, we make a vow to be their “wedded wife/husband, to have and to hold from that day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death do you part, according to God’s holy ordinance and we pledge our faith.”
We choose to honor these vows. We choose to stay or leave. Spiritual commitment will reflect a person’s depth of faith and is manifested in our attitudes and behaviors. Psalm 37:5 (ESV):
“Commit your way to the Lord; trust in him, and he will act.”
During the time of restoration of my marriage, life was still hard. Things did not change quickly, but as I trusted God’s Word, I realized that we would make it. Proverbs 3:5 (NIV):
“Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him and he will make your paths straight.”
I prayed for God to change me, to help me love again. I asked Him to help me trust HIM and not try to fix my husband -but let God do it. He did all these things and so much more. You can trust God with your marriage.
Sometimes I miss my husband so much. I would love to have one more fight with him so we could make up, laugh, and enjoy each other the way God put us together. Hold on, don’t give up, and trust God.
Patti League
Lean into Jesus Ministries
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