The Proverbs 31 Woman
Who can find a virtuous and capable wife? She is more precious than rubies.Her husband can trust her, and she will greatly enrich his life. She brings him good, not harm, all the days of her life. She finds wool and flax and busily spins it. She is like a merchant’s ship, bringing her food from afar. She gets up before dawn to prepare breakfast for her household and plan the day’s work for her servant girls. She goes to inspect a field and buys it; with her earnings she plants a vineyard. She is energetic and strong, a hard worker. She makes sure her dealings are profitable; her lamp burns late into the night. Her hands are busy spinning thread, her fingers twisting fiber. She extends a helping hand to the poor and opens her arms to the needy. She has no fear of winter for her household, for everyone has warm clothes. She makes her own bedspreads. She dresses in fine linen and purple gowns. Her husband is well known at the city gates, where he sits with the other civic leaders. She makes belted linen garments and sashes to sell to the merchants. She is clothed with strength and dignity, and she laughs without fear of the future. When she speaks, her words are wise, and she gives instructions with kindness. She carefully watches everything in her household and suffers nothing from laziness. Her children stand and bless her. Her husband praises her: “There are many virtuous and capable women in the world, but you surpass them all!” Charm is deceptive, and beauty does not last; but a woman who fears the LORD will be greatly praised. Reward her for all she has done. Let her deeds publicly declare her praise. (Proverbs31:10-31)
What is flax? And how exactly do you spin it? As a new bride of only 38 days, I find myself asking all sorts of questions. Questions I thought I would magically know the answers to once I said, “I do”. How do you know when pork is done? How do you iron men’s clothing when they don’t even fit on the ironing board? How do you manage your time when there’s another person’s schedule to consider? How do you not cry all the time because you’re a woman and that’s what all women do? How do you still look perfect in the morning and not terrify your new husband when he realizes what you look like without all the make up? How do you always know the right thing to say to encourage him? And the question I struggle with the most, “How can I be perfect like the Proverbs 31 Woman?”.
As a teenager and young woman, I always looked to this passage of scripture as the example of a “perfect” wife. I think I actually really believed it was something I would attain. And not after years and years of marriage, but right out of the gate. I’ve always heard that when a woman becomes a mother that her “motherly instincts” kick in and she just magically knows how to take care of a baby. Obviously, I assumed the same would be true about a woman becoming a wife.
Longing for “perfection” in any area of our lives can leave us feeling like a failure when we don’t meet the standards we have set for ourselves. Only a week into my marriage I had a complete meltdown and told my husband I didn’t think I could be a wife because it was just too hard. The meltdown happened after I realized that I had forgotten to pack a whole shelf of his clothes when leaving our honeymoon! I felt like a complete wife failure. I was suppose to be taking care of him and I left all of his clothes on a cruise ship! To him it was just something to laugh about and a good story to tell, but to me it just exposed the truth. And the truth was that I wasn’t perfect.
I am so thankful for the grace that my new husband shows me every single day. He is so patient and no matter what I see as a “failure” he sees it as perfect. When we first started dating he would tell me all the time how perfect I was and I couldn’t stand it. I mean no one is perfect but Jesus, right? But, then he finally told me that he calls me perfect because that’s how God made me. Perfect. I use to pray that God would send me a husband that would be a physical representation of His love for me because I’ve always struggled to feel God’s love. He knew exactly the right man to send me.
The Proverbs 31 Woman wasn’t perfect because she did everything right, but rather because her heart was always in the right place. She thought of her husband and children more than herself. She worked hard for them and made sure that they were well taken care of. She wasn’t distracted by the world’s standards. She was kind and humble.
God sees perfection in me because He sees His son in my heart. I don’t have to make the perfect meal, or iron everything just right. I don’t have to always have it together emotionally or always say the right thing. I don’t have to look like a model or write the perfect blog. I just have to keep Jesus in the center of my heart and both my husband and God will see it as perfect.
April Kirkland
Lean Into Jesus Ministries
#aprilkirklandblogs